Thank you for writing this, Vivia. I also have friends and family members who voted for Trump—for various reasons, ranging from true MAGA" to "my taxes will be lower"—and I think it's important to try and understand their views.
Unfortunately, cynically, I take the opposite view. I can no longer bond with someone's brain who can justify supporting Trump. Sorry.
(as an aside, I grew up in Texas with you. I know many Texan Trumpers as well.)
I realize that humans can be complex. We all agree on somethings and disagree on others. I can no longer trust a former friend's brain who can justify a vote for Trump. I can honor and respect a bond we once had. But, for me, currently that bond has been broken as much as if they did something horrific and unethical. For me, voting for Trump was.
I do not believe in unconditional love. Could I love a murderer? Love the person, but not their actions? NO. not part of my ethics. A person is what they think and what they do. There is a line in the sand with my ethics and trust in matters of conscience. Ignorance is one thing. But justification for a literate person in voting for Trump? A line too far for me.
Let it be known: I have friends who are Trumpers!! An openly deep bond is not possible. I can respect and be superficial friends with them to a limited degree. period.
I lived with a partner, a Q-anon, conspiracy theorist, Tucker Carlson fan, Trumper for two years. I realize that a brain that can justify and promote those ideas, is not a brain that I should or could EVER believe is a bonded friend. I might distantly respect such a person for other things. I cannot and do not compartmentalize voting for Trump. Behavior that egregious is beyond my friendship. I have thought carefully through exactly what relationship I can have (based on who I am, more than who they are) with any Trump supporter.
Support for outrageously dangerous people is an accessory and accomplice to a crime. My bond stops with such folks. In my old age, I have culled friends that over the course of decades have diverged from who I am. They are no longer my friends. Some people won't eat donuts from an establishment that gives money to Trump, but support friends who do? In my old age, there are too many people yet to know, thoughts to have, ideas to pursue, to waste precious thoughts on Trump's lies. My life is too short. He's a misogynist felon.
This friend's excuse for voting for him is that they see Trump's competition as mediocre or mildly lacking in some unsupported ideal they have? Heaven help us.
Look at Trump's cabinet/followers/devotees. She wants these leaders? These policies? These ideas?
Thanks for the nice piece of writing. Many people can relate, I am sure.
I firmly disagree with your conclusions. But justify them if you must.
There are deluded reasons for voting for Trump and deluded reasons for supporting those who do.
You write about your friend as if she is wearing rose colored glasses when looking at the future with a Trump administration. I doubt she is. Trump's shortcomings are not hidden.
It is entirely rational to acknowledge that one cannot see the future, but still be hopeful and optimistic. The arc of history is generally toward better living standards across all humanity. Doomscrolling leads people to incorrect and overly pessimistic predictions.
Really spot on and insightful! Your conclusion nails it for me. Terrific piece.
Thank you for this wonderful and sad piece of writing. I do not know if one has to be a New Yorker subscriber to open this link, but I suspect many here are. This article "helped" me: https://www.newyorker.com/news/the-lede/republican-victory-and-the-ambience-of-information.
Thank you for writing this, Vivia. I also have friends and family members who voted for Trump—for various reasons, ranging from true MAGA" to "my taxes will be lower"—and I think it's important to try and understand their views.
Thanks. Though hard to write.
Unfortunately, cynically, I take the opposite view. I can no longer bond with someone's brain who can justify supporting Trump. Sorry.
(as an aside, I grew up in Texas with you. I know many Texan Trumpers as well.)
I realize that humans can be complex. We all agree on somethings and disagree on others. I can no longer trust a former friend's brain who can justify a vote for Trump. I can honor and respect a bond we once had. But, for me, currently that bond has been broken as much as if they did something horrific and unethical. For me, voting for Trump was.
I do not believe in unconditional love. Could I love a murderer? Love the person, but not their actions? NO. not part of my ethics. A person is what they think and what they do. There is a line in the sand with my ethics and trust in matters of conscience. Ignorance is one thing. But justification for a literate person in voting for Trump? A line too far for me.
Let it be known: I have friends who are Trumpers!! An openly deep bond is not possible. I can respect and be superficial friends with them to a limited degree. period.
I lived with a partner, a Q-anon, conspiracy theorist, Tucker Carlson fan, Trumper for two years. I realize that a brain that can justify and promote those ideas, is not a brain that I should or could EVER believe is a bonded friend. I might distantly respect such a person for other things. I cannot and do not compartmentalize voting for Trump. Behavior that egregious is beyond my friendship. I have thought carefully through exactly what relationship I can have (based on who I am, more than who they are) with any Trump supporter.
Support for outrageously dangerous people is an accessory and accomplice to a crime. My bond stops with such folks. In my old age, I have culled friends that over the course of decades have diverged from who I am. They are no longer my friends. Some people won't eat donuts from an establishment that gives money to Trump, but support friends who do? In my old age, there are too many people yet to know, thoughts to have, ideas to pursue, to waste precious thoughts on Trump's lies. My life is too short. He's a misogynist felon.
This friend's excuse for voting for him is that they see Trump's competition as mediocre or mildly lacking in some unsupported ideal they have? Heaven help us.
Look at Trump's cabinet/followers/devotees. She wants these leaders? These policies? These ideas?
Thanks for the nice piece of writing. Many people can relate, I am sure.
I firmly disagree with your conclusions. But justify them if you must.
There are deluded reasons for voting for Trump and deluded reasons for supporting those who do.
You write about your friend as if she is wearing rose colored glasses when looking at the future with a Trump administration. I doubt she is. Trump's shortcomings are not hidden.
It is entirely rational to acknowledge that one cannot see the future, but still be hopeful and optimistic. The arc of history is generally toward better living standards across all humanity. Doomscrolling leads people to incorrect and overly pessimistic predictions.