The Love Song of Samuel A. Alito
Under that cold, hard shell beats the heart of a true romantic. What a dreamboat of a husband!
Who would have guessed that Samuel Alito would be such an uxorious hubby?
For the second time in one month, the Supreme Court justice is telling us that it’s his wife Martha-Ann who calls the shots on the homefront, and that he’s just a compliant husband going along for the ride.
In a letter to Sens. Dick Durbin (D-Il.) and Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.), Alito refused to recuse himself from cases involving Donald Trump and the January 6 insurrectionists, despite recent news reports that two flags associated with election deniers (an inverted American flag and an “Appeal to Heaven” flag) were flown on his properties.
Alito’s argument: He wasn’t the one who flew those controversial flags; it was his wife. And by the way, how dare anyone question her autonomy to do so!
Oh, what fascinating glimpses the letter offers into le mariage d’Alito, not to mention his deep thoughts on the rights of women and the infallibility of Supreme Court justices.
Don’t mess with Martha-Ann:
“I was not even aware of the upside-down flag until it was called to my attention,” Alito wrote in his letter about the flag at his Virginia residence that was flown days after the January 6 insurrection. “As soon as I saw it, I asked my wife to take it down, but for several days, she refused.”
In other words, he understood the symbolism of the inverted flag and that it’s a bad look for a Supreme Court justice to fly it in his front yard but, no sir, he’s not going to cross his wife. (Hey, Mr. Traditionalist, aren’t you the man of the house?)
He also pleads ignorance about the “Appeal to Heaven” flag that was flown at their weekend home: “I had no involvement in the decision to fly that flag,” adding, “I was not aware of any connection between this historic flag and the ‘Stop the Steal Movement,’ and neither was my wife.” (Query: Is it plausible that these Washington insiders, deep in the thicket of partisan politics, could be so ignorant?)
An unusual hobby:
The really fun part, though, is what Alito has to say about his wife’s hobby: “My wife is fond of flying flags. I am not.” She’s so enamored of flags, he writes, that she’s flown “a wide variety of flags,” including “college flags, flags supporting sports teams . . . flags of places we have visited, seasonal flags, and religious flags.” (Reminder to Mrs. Alito: June is Gay Pride Month. We’re looking forward to seeing that rainbow flag in front of your home!)
But lest you think he’s just blaming everything on the little woman for Flaggate, Alito, the chivalrous, emerges, defending Mrs. Alito with gusto. “My wife is a private citizen, and she possesses the same First Amendment rights as every other American,” Alito writes about her insistence on keeping up the upside-down American flag. “She makes her own decisions, and I have always respected her right to do so.” (Curiously, Alito cites his wife’s ownership interest in both properties—joint owner of the Virginia home and sole owner of the weekend house—to support his contention that she’s a free agent. Does this mean her rights would be attenuated if she didn’t own real property?)
And in case you missed the message, Alito repeats it again towards the end of his letter: “My wife is an independently minded private citizen. She makes her own decisions, and I honor her right to do so.”
Ok! Got it—she’s a person in her own right who can make her own decisions, and she needs no man to tell her what to do.
Flags and uteri:
Is Alito oblivious to the rich irony of what he’s saying? This is the proud author of the majority opinion in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization that eviscerated a woman’s right to abortion. Who can forget how he spiked that opinion with references to all sorts of archaic laws, including a 12th century religious penalty for abortion? And in the case of mifepristone, the abortion pill, which was argued before the Supreme Court this spring, Alito, along with Justice Clarence Thomas, kept bringing up the Comstock Act, an obscenity law that dates to 1873.
None of this suggests that Alito would be a proponent for women’s autonomy. If anything, his whole mission seems to be returning America to a time when women had little control over their lives or bodies.
What’s disturbing about Alito’s rambling letter in which he blamed, defended, and sanctified his wife (“she has made many sacrifices to accommodate my service on the Supreme Court”) is that he never denounces what those flags symbolize—the dangerous proposition that the 2020 election was stolen, justifying the violent actions of the January 6 rioters.
Toward the end of the letter, he writes: “A reasonable person who is not motivated by political or ideological considerations or a desire to affect the outcome of Supreme Court cases would conclude that this event does not meet the applicable standard for recusal. I am therefore duty-bound to reject your recusal request.”
Seriously? Blazing two flags associated with insurrectionists outside the homes of a Supreme Court justice casts no doubt on his impartiality? And he’s “duty-bound” to preside over matters concerning Trump and the January 6 rioters—as if staying on will help the Supreme Court’s wobbly reputation?
It’s a lot to swallow. In the end, I’m not at all clear why Alito bothered with all that women empowerment jazz to explain those controversial flags outside his homes. Is he trying to establish his feminist creds (which seems rather hopeless)? Or is he afraid of the wrath of Martha-Ann?
But one thing is clear: He will not recuse, no matter how bad it all looks. And the sad truth is there’s not much we can do about it. So, c’mon, Sam, be a big boy—stop hiding behind Martha-Ann’s apron.
Contact: chen.vivia@gmail.com
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Related post: Is Amy Coney Barrett a Radical Feminist?
Thank you for the satirical and frightening piece.