Think Twice Before Coming Out About Your Mental Illness

It's good for the soul. But maybe not your career. Consider the risks and benefits of coming clean. (My second installment in my series on depression in the workplace.)

I am still astounded by the outpouring of support from readers I received when I went public about my depression. I feel buoyed by their encouragement and generosity. Yet, I feel slightly uncomfortable with one word that some use to describe me: brave.

To me, “brave” describes firefighters who storm burning buildings, doctors who operate in dire conditions, or those who challenge authoritarian regimes in the face of danger. In comparison, my confession of depression is small fries.

But I understand why “brave” might be the default adjective in this context. And that’s because coming out about mental health struggles in the workplace is still rare.

Despite widespread support for mental health in the workplace, depression is still fraught with stigma. In a 2022 Harris Poll, 81% of working adults agreed that employers should prioritize mental health, yet some 58% of those polled admitted they’re uncomfortable discussing their mental health at work. 

I feel that tension when people ask me whether they should be open about their mental illness to managers and colleagues. As someone who’s been up front about this issue and a hardcore believer in speaking the truth, the last thing I want to do is to tell others to muzzle it. Besides, if we don’t start admitting our own struggle, aren’t we perpetuating the stigma?

But let’s get a grip. Who’s really ready to take one for the cause?

The reality is that disclosing your mental struggles entails career risks. I’ve heard too many stories over the years where any sort of perceived “weakness” or infirmity (sometimes that seems to include pregnancy and motherhood) has had negative repercussions, such as worse assignments or a stalled career. And in careers like law or finance, where a premium is put on being a tough son-of-a-bitch, admitting mental illness simply cannot be a career enhancer.

“Some employers won’t see you the same way once you tell them,” says Dan Lukasik, the founder of Lawyers with Depression, a support organization for the legal profession. For those thinking of disclosing their mental health illness, Lukasik advises “a strategic approach.” As a baseline, “you really have to know the workplace culture,” he says, adding, “I’d also consult a lawyer about what’s the best route to go. Is it through a manager or human relations?”

Let me interject here and say that being “strategic” or seeking legal guidance was not on the top of my mind when I was hit with a crippling depression at work. I didn’t think about options or rights until I applied for short term disability. Nor did I think about laws like the Americans with Disabilities Acts (ADA), Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1974 (ERISA), and Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). ERISA, in particular, always struck me as an arcane and exceedingly boring area of the law. Yet, suddenly it was relevant to my life.

Getting back to how much you need to reveal: The more prudent course is to disclose on an as-needed basis—namely, HR and your manager—if your mental condition is hindering your job performance. That would certainly come into play if requesting a leave or accommodations, such as flexible working arrangements. (Keep in mind that the ADA protects employees from discrimination because of a disability, including depression.)

But enough of these practical considerations. Isn’t there something cathartic about being unequivocally open about one’s depression? 

“I felt a relief when I disclosed my depression,” Lukasik tells me. “In a weird way, it was empowering.”

I had the same reaction. I felt a weight had been lifted when I finally said out loud: “Yes, I am depressed!” It was liberating to own up to it, and let the chips fall where they may.

So why am I urging caution? Because I’m not the one climbing the corporate ladder. I am an opinion writer, an iconoclast. My brand is to tell-it-like-it-is and shine a light on taboo subjects like depression. And that, I can assure you, is not what Big Law or Big Business want from their employees.

But here’s a sliver of hope: “It’s better today,” says Lukasik, remembering the reaction he received when he first spoke out about his depression some 20 years ago. “There’s a generational aspect. Older lawyers think younger ones are too soft, while the younger ones have a different view. The interesting question is whether they’ll take a more progressive view when they’re in power.”

Have you ever confided to your manager or colleagues about your depression? How did that go? 

Contact me: chen.vivia@gmail.com

Related article: But You Don’t Look That Depressed

Photo: Andrea Piacquadio